Monday, October 25, 2010

Things on the mind

(19 followers aa! Inna maen sollre nee (what are you saying man)!

Sometimes, I think I should just keep on posting without a care about who is reading, or not. However, I’m in double digit territory now and it is only fair that I acknowledge the fact. I like this I say. I really do. Due to this wonderful thing called updates, I’m capable of keeping up with every blog I read and have blogrolled most blogs that are following me. I might venture into recommendations one day, but not yet...)

A lot of what goes on here are personal chronicles of the life I live in Chennai – part mental, part prude, part mallu, part journo, part distressed 25/26 year old, etc. There is a lot more I want to say, but I keep worrying about it. I should. Here’s why –

On Sunday, my mother’s brother (maama) had come over and was registering his daughter on a school homework website type place. He tells me to add him on Facebook. I shouldn’t have tried to do that. My entire family – dad, mum, uncle, his wife – were standing behind me while I was trying to search for my uncle on FB and my father saw a few pictures of my brother standing with a couple of his female friends. I did, eventually, find my uncle on FB and I added him. But my father said something bizarre – “what if this S (name abbreviated for obvious reasons) has a marriage proposal and the guy she’s planning to get engaged to sees her posing like this with Sidhu. What would he make of it?”

I had to stop and stare at him at this juncture in the conversation. I told him if Facebook is going to be the deal maker/breaker for a marriage proposal then people are better off without marriage proposals from stupid people. My father is one of those grew-up-in-Kerala-but-never-grew-out-of-Kerala type. And just for the record, I think Malayali men are the worst type of male on this planet. They’re oily, creepy, chauvinistic, sadistic, completely psycho, weird and completely disrespectful to say the very least of how horrible they collectively are.

According to my father, I should try not to fit into this popular myth of young women in cities and rise above it. For instance, when I’d told them about my ex and wanting to get married to him, etc, my father’s reaction was not just about the melodrama and all of that related crap but it was more along the lines of – I never thought my children would fall into this rut of being in a relationship, I always thought they’d be able to rise above peer pressure and do something more important. (Like what, I wonder.)

I’m not Madame Curie to discover something truly path-breaking and change the course of science in my own way. My dad thinks his kids are made of some super mutation of human DNA but owing to non-utilisation of said mutation have, in many ways, failed. It doesn’t stop him from gloating in public though about our beauty and so on, which in turn, does not make up for this insane expectation of awesomeness either. It’s a pressure most parents put on their children, while some people deal with the kids not meeting these expectations, parents like mine continue to expect the sun, moon and stars from us and end up thinking, sheesh my progeny is a big fail, so much talent, so much potential, so much laziness.

The best thing in this scenario is the peer pressure argument. What peer pressure? You smoked a cig when you were 13 because someone told you to right? You drank when in army training because everyone was doing it right? Then what level of hypocritical expectation is this? It’s bizarre. If there is one thing I cannot tolerate, it is double standards. Different rules for different situations and different people. What’s the use of the world fighting for peace and harmony and equality if these double standards continue to exist?

Anyway, its one of those things that I deal with on a daily basis, and I can’t say I’ve learned to make my peace with it. I haven’t. I only hope that some day I will be able to tune it out!


  1. Hello from a fellow Malayali...I could relate to a few things mentioned on the blog...especially the hypocrisy mentioned there....I don't get it....really...I don't....but then, I think that's a deep rooted habit passed on from generation to generation.... enjoyed reading through the entries...

  2. Hello fellow Mal. Nice to meet you. Yeah, well I just hope we're able to get rid of said habit...