Friday, August 26, 2011

Important things I think of

  • It’s raining an insane amount of rain as I’m typing this [August 24]. On my rooftop office, the sounds are heightened. Almost as if the water drops are little pebbles being artlessly dropped by the bucketful by some playful cherub. It’s, well, annoying and beautiful. Annoying because I need to get home and I live in a particularly traffic-congested part of the city. Getting there, in this rain, with the autos acting like complete bitches (which I don’t appreciate because they don’t have meters and I hate that I depend on them) is going to be a bit of a problem. Beautiful because I’m a fan of this kind of rain, drizzles annoy me as do “mild showers”.

  • So anti-corruption – they made the PM cave, but with more time passing there seems to be plenty of voices of dissent and non-support coming through. A lot of people just don’t like Hazare and what he’s doing and how he’s doing it. Truth is, it’s getting into blackmail territory now and it’s not pleasant. I genuinely do not appreciate the way in which the Parliament is being threatened and cornered into doing something. The laughing matter is this; the BJP supports the Lokpal Bill and the creation of a Lokpal. Sigh. It’s disgusting. If Anna Hazare says the BJP is a clean political party and others should emulate them, I’ll just have a minor heart seizure!

  • Note to negligent parents – while crossing the road, with your young child, please ensure that you create circumstances for your child’s survival. Letting them be on the side of oncoming traffic is selfish and well, wrong, for the lack of a better expletive. The footpaths might be too far away from the point on the road that you want to cross, that does not mean you walk on the middle of the road during peak traffic hours holding your child’s hand. Do you want to die? (Or as they ask in Tamil, “Enna veetile solittu vandirikkiya?) Idiots. Don’t you dare blame the doctors at a government hospital for the death of your child because it was probably your fault that the poor thing got hit in the first place. 

  • Note to contrary people – stop blaming it on being modern and young and “confused” and “post-modern angst” or even, and this is priceless, being Libran. I’m going to hunt you down and slash your damn jugular! For the sake of peace and sanity and the non-necessity of a world war, if you don’t know or don’t remember what you said, STFU and find a corner to sulk in! I will not tolerate you coming my way and telling me different things every single fucking day. If you have an opinion, air it, post which, please do NOT change your mind about it. It’s annoying and a lot of work to keep up with your ever-changing moods – I’m not your wife or mother! Fools.

  • Note to drunk people – hai! Naice to meet the you. Let’s be in deep and abiding friendship forever. However, if you have an alcohol addiction issue, don’t call me. I happen to like my liver enough to not have cirrhosis and then die or something. If you just like drinking every once in a while, let’s be frands okay?

  • To the English – thank you for the language. It is much-appreciated. Really. Today, every city has a localised and khichdified version of your language, many of which have Wiki pages and guides. It’s fun to communicate with these horrendous spellings and pronunciations from time to time. It more than makes up for my lack of finesse whilst using my own respective mother tongues. When other Indian children, especially the ones that live abroad and think they’re better than me, don’t get it, I’m happier and my ego takes a huge climb up the ladder to megalomania towers. 

  • The linguistically challenged – need to go die. Especially when they come up with “my hairs are so soft, I want to keep touching them” on national fucking TV. I refuse to like the ad and go out and buy the product. I absolutely refuse. On the same line of thought, there’s something about “here” pronounced as “hair” that really annoys me. There are some specific people who think “hair” is the actual way in which “here” is pronounced. I blame their shitty English teachers. I blame the English teachers who don’t teach their kids pronunciation and then claim to have taught them the eight parts of speech, the twelve tenses, and then claim to have done a good job in teaching children English. Uh, what? It’s a first language in this country dearincompetentone, how on earth do you assume the right to misteach and then have the gall to be proud of it?