Monday, October 31, 2011

The endemic of nonsense

This one is for Sumedh Mungee, who like the lady who wrote an open letter to Delhi boys, seems to have garnered quite the response to his article on leaving India.

For starters, his last name kills me. It honestly does and I don't mean to say it contemptuously. It's just hilarious. The number of times people must have made some funny joke about it, I cannot imagine and don't think I want to either. Poor guy, some small part of him must be eternally angry at being handed a name like Mungee.

Now, jokes aside, let's get serious.

I don't like his article. Who the hell is he to pass judgment anyway? He chose to leave the country to make something better of his life or to study, either way his reasons are based in Economics not in some altruistic, aspirational dream or anything. He probably went in the hope of getting a good degree and with that get a super-paying job. Money. That was his driving factor as it was for many non-resident Indians. I have nothing against them. I do, however, take offense when they start behaving like my favorite type of people, the tourists.

I'm sorry, does dirt and poverty bother you? Never seen an unbathed person before. Wow. You must live in such a sanitized world. Wake the fuck up and take a good look around person.

Dirt, apparently this curious phenomenon exists in countries like the USA it's so shocking no?

Poverty, again, exists in the US and if recent statistics are anything to go by, exists in abundance too.

Misery, er, existential angst came from Europe thanks to the Schpenhauers and Nietzches of the world. [Even if existential angst is a state of mind that originated elsewhere, I'm just going to keep this here for the purpose of being mean to someone and not having that flow hindered. Indulge me.]

Unemployment, again I urge you to look at the recession and statistics please. I am not going to sit here and articulate these things for your benefit.

There are so many phenomenons that are assumed to be some kind of third-world constant. People who live in first-world countries are devastated by it when they come to so-called third-world countries. Okay. Fine. Be devastated. But you are many levels of common senseless if you think that your first world nation is prosperous and problem free.

And what is with this hate-filled attitude anyway? What? You don't like domestic help because they steal and lie? You mean you don't?

You don't like bad drivers? So you follow traffic regulations to the letter and have never once violated rules?

I don't understand why this holier-than-thou attitude even exists? Who the hell are these randoms who have exalted themselves to some kind of bizarre socially elevated pedestal from whence they look upon a deteriorating society? I mean, who are you, really? Please do me a favor, find a country that has perfect infrastructure, zero bureaucracy, zero poverty, zero discomforting realities and go live there. I think the name of the country is Utopia. Find it on the map, book a one-way ticket, I'm sure they don't have visas as well because entry is free and no one is a foreigner in Utopia, and please build a perfect home and live there. Everything will be peachy, perfect and delightful. You will never be angry or upset. Perfect balance of emotions shall be maintained and you will live happily ever after.

Please continue to stay in a land far, far away. The more of you that live far, far away, the more space I will have to roam freely. Thank you for your cooperation.

For those interested here is Mr.Mungee's response to the online venom that followed post his rant in NYT.

Here is one writer's response to the original article. I think it is quite interesting.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Letters to entities

Dear god in heaven,

I write to you because I sincerely think that it is not possible to think of you in any time except crisis. And right now, I’m in crisis. The crisis is of course related to money. I’m perpetually running short and I don’t like it one bit.

I propose that we come up with a wealth-generation plan. Basically, I will bury a Rs.1,000 note underground [because that is the highest denomination available] and you will, with your epic powers, multiply that Rs.1,000 into may 1,000s.

Since you played a part in my gaining wealth, the money cannot be termed ill-gotten. Yeah, I didn’t exactly earn it because of my hardwork or anything, but heck, I am a child in crisis, help me out here.

That’s all for now. I will be in touch during my next epic crisis. Please do the needful as and when a need arises.

Until then, a very poor and a very distraught


Monday, October 10, 2011



I've been waiting a while for a nice word to put up here. And today's word comes courtesy of Nrithya.

Stupidhead. (meaning) boys who don't know better; boys

Best used in context of dissing the mentals who act like fools when we don't but they assume that we are acting stupid. Hence, stupidhead.

Check out Nrithya's blog though, she's hella awesome. :D

Monday, October 3, 2011

Recollections of the strange kind

Did you ever go through a phase when you only wanted to discuss your period? I was 12 when that phase happened. I don’t know about other countries, or cities in India, but in my Chennai and specifically in my school, this one subject was something that almost every girl talked about, at length and in some cases with an unhealthy amount of smugness. To be perfectly honest, I never got the hype behind it when I was in school, I still don’t, but now I have come to terms with it and I know that I have only a couple of decades left before it stops altogether.

In school, however, we had these weird strange conversations centering around our period. I have no idea why I am thinking about it now, but a strange advertisement involving blue-coloured liquid being soaked in a sanitary napking probably brought it on.

What are the strangest period conversations you’ve had?

What were the most bizarre myths you encountered?

I have a cracker – one of my seniors in school, she was in the 12th grade, asked a Proctor and Gamble rep “Will I lose my virginity if I use a tampon?” I was in the 9th grade then and I knew that a tampon and virginity were not in the least bit connected!

Oh well. I’m off to sigh over MasterChef and then watch Criminal Minds.