Sunday, July 29, 2012

Because people talk a lot

I have realised that there has been a small lapse in the unsolicited social commentary segment of this blog. It’s an odd feeling not to be trashing someone just because I have a blog and I can. Odd indeed. The last time I went through a silent phase like this, I was heartbroken and contemplating the meaning of life. Yeah, that’s the sad aftermath of what us Madras people call “lowe failyoor”. The thing is I wish I was older when that devastation happened. I was only 22. What kind of an age is that to have this epic thing called lowe failyoor.

The funny thing about heartbreak is the “two sides of the story” level analysis that the world wants to get into because, you know, they can. That really bothers me. Why does it bother me? People talk all the time don’t they? So how the fuck does it matter if one more set is talking about my break-up and how it was not entirely the guy’s fault and maybe I had something to do with it too. Fact is, you talkers, you haven’t dated people who may potentially be extra-terrestrial because there is no fathomable, human way in which one can explain their weirdness.

Now, don’t get me wrong. People are each weird in their own special way, just like everyone is unique in their own unique way. However, since it is my special case and my unique problem, I shall choose not to be objective. Where’s the fun in that, huh? The occasional immaturity and unreasonable stance never hurt anyone, right?

Where was I? People wanting to know the whole story. That’s the thing, no one really does. Either they know what you want them to, or they make the rest up based on what they know of you and of the person you dated. Again, this bothers me. As a staunch believer in gossip and the therapeutic value of it, I cannot fathom how someone’s devastated state of being could potentially make you interested enough to engage in a one-off, long-lasting conversation with other people. It’s insensitive. It just doesn’t make sense.

It may make sense if I am Adele and am making a LOT of money by calling my ex names and using my amazing voice to reach out to every heartbroken person in this universe. But, I’m not Adele. And I don’t have a powerhouse voice and I don’t want to make money by calling my exes names. I would rather wonder aloud at this innate tendency people have to talk. Thanks to the internet, these conversations are all over the place and everyone has access to it. I don’t know what that means for the long-term and my children. It might mean good things, it might mean bad things. Who knows, right?

But this post is really not about the internet. The internet has become the equivalent of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if memes are to be believed. Since it is such a precious commodity, I will not venture into an analysis of it at the present. I will, however, continue to talk about people talking.

See, this is the trouble with talking. You don’t really talk about one thing. You keep digressing and you keep moving from one subject to another, to the third and so on and you have completely lost track of what you began with. I was talking about heartbreaks and people talking about heartbreaks.

I have talked about break-ups to my girlfriends. When they were sitting across a table from me and calling their boyfriends names and wondering what to do next to save the relationship. I had to tell them mean, nasty, horrible things that may have, in any other circumstance, devastated my friendship with them, but in context, it saved them, I would like to think, from a horrible extension of a toxic relationship. I don’t know how to talk about other people breaking up with each other and how one person was devastated because they were in love with the toxic ex (all exes are toxic, for the sake of reference). I mean, the most I can come up with is “Did you know that A broke up with S and she’s not doing so well at all”. I can answer questions with answers based on what I do know. But I don’t know how to pick apart a broken relationship until I am happy to discover its core nature and tell everyone that I have unraveled the mystery of someone else’s relationship. There’s something fundamentally wrong with that, if you ask me.

Why do I care if someone broke up with someone else? How does it affect me? How does it affect the world I live in? One more heartbroken person who hates all members of the opposite sex, wow, that’s like so new! One more potential back story for someone in a chick flick. Wonderful.

I’m tired. I’m tired of the times I have had to endure questions about why someone and I broke up. I’m tired of the times I have sat at a table with someone else wondering why X and Y broke up and figuring out if X was more at fault or Y. I’m tired of listening to someone’s profound analysis of a relationship that is not theirs. I’m just tired.

I want to get off the internet and read 5000 books and collect 50,000 books. But then, I kinda like blogging and Tweeting and sly Facebook status updating. So getting off the internet is not an option. I also want to save the print industry from ruin and ensure that the world always lives with the smell of fresh paper and romances the “sit in a corner with a mug of hot chocolate and read while listening to the sound of rain outside the window” idea. I want all that.

Mostly, I want people to stop talking about things that they can refrain from offering moral commentary on. Because, honestly, you anonymous piece of junk, my broken, devastated heart is none of your business and figuring me out while I’m devastated and heartbroken should not be something you think is an appropriate way to pass time. Please do the following as a personal favour to me:
•    Find a tall building
•    Get to the roof
•    Find a corner that is unhindered by sun roofs and such
•    Jump

The thing is, this process of elimination only takes care of one anonymous piece of junk at a time.

Oh, well, you can’t have everything can you?


  1. You had me at "As a staunch believer in gossip and the therapeutic value of it". :-)

  2. well there is always the middle finger - evolved specially just for "those" people..on the other hand i see that toxic shit has finally broken your writers block and brought you back to blogging..welcome back

    1. Thank you. It feels good to be writing again. And well, the middle finger is there, but I like calling people out on a public forum much better!

  3. p.s. i am gonna go out on alimb here and whore blog here: do drop in when you have time to kill (and have that killing feeling)-