Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Come, get to know me better!

The last time I posted here, I put up a to-do list of posts. I'm checking it off one-by-one, but in no particular order. (Getting my dad to pose with the washing machine doing laundry is a job, so, yes, that will have to wait!)

I'll start with Narayani's task of making a list of 20 Random things about me and nominate three other blogs and hope that it carries forward. Judging by the recent spate of barely blogging, I wonder if it will get passed on, though.

If you've been reading this blog for long enough, you know everything there is to know, but I aim to please and potentially use this content as my "About Me" at some point in time! Let us begin, shall we? Actually, to give some context, I've done something like this before.

(1) Once upon a time, I dreamt of being on stage, spouting lines and delivering performances that would be compared to fine art. It's been eight years since I've been on stage. I miss it. I really, really miss it.

(2) I have an immense dislike for beauty pageants. And yet, in 2013, I found myself participating in one. I felt like I'd had a lobotomy. The whole process hurt my feet, my back, my ass, my bones, my self-proclaimed intelligence, and everything I hold dear. To top it off, I did it just to fuck with people. That being said, the entire process gave me a rare insight into the lives of pageant mothers and children. I can't say I respect their life choices, but, it's a hella difficult life, kudos (I think) for participating in such a shitpit.

(3) I have this weird habit of cleaning in the night. I don't know why. I would have done nothing the whole day, and come 11pm, my hands get itchy and I'm dumping clothes on the floor, re-folding everything, re-organising. Of course, since getting married, I haven't been able to carry on this amazing tradition, but when my husband is away, the madness resurfaces.

(4) I have no response to people who tell me that they immensely dislike animals of all kinds. Okay, I get that domestic animals are a bit of a warzone for you, but, what the heck has a Tiger ever done to you for you to dislike it?

(5) Cooking is a bit of an iffy subject for me. I mean, most of the things I put together are manageably edible and don't cause food poisoning, but, man, it's a fucking chore!

(6) I simply lack the patience to deal with sulky people. Despite being a master sulker myself, I lack the patience to deal with it. The consequences of this impatience are going to manifest when my child is born and grows into a sulky toddler. It's already giving me nightmares. *shudder*

(7) Writing is and always will be my release. It's the only way I know how to be brutally honest. IRL, I'm less confrontational. But give me a blank page and all this suppressed angst just unleashes itself.

(8) I was the fat, ugly kid that got made fun of for being fat, for having allergies and colds, for having short hair because other kids thought I looked like a boy but knew I was a girl so did that make me an "ali" (code for hijra), for being my mum's daughter, for having all these imaginary boyfriends (who were assigned to me by these kids), for so many things I've lost count. And I'm rather proudly not in touch with a single one of these assholes. Trust me, if you were ever a kid who got teased this mercilessly in school, you'd understand why these fuckers aren't on my friend list, Facebook connectivity notwithstanding.

(9) I dislike people who fat-shame. I fail to understand why someone else's size is so important to people. How does it matter? It's someone else's extra inches, someone else's arteries that are clogged up, someone else's struggle, none of the pain of being a certain size belongs to the person pointing it out, so why point it out? The response usually is "because health problems, I'm being a good friend by telling them to lose weight and get healthy". Seriously, fuck off.

(10) I hate, HATE people who use "friends" as free shrinks. Getting together, eating, drinking, making merry, talking about stupid shit, talking about meaningful things, being there for each other through every high and low is what it's all about. However, there are some people who leech on the goodwill and use you as a sounding board for their problems. They then proceed to disappear until the next problem arises. You fall for it, thinking that they're a friend, so why not? But it's rinse-repeat with them. I did this once. Called my friend, aired out my problems with her, and then promptly disappeared when things got better. She was going through a difficult time herself, and then added to that was my shitty behaviour. Things are back to normal-ish with her. I hate that I did something like that. I hate that I let myself down and that I couldn't live up to the standards that I'm usually such a stickler for. But there it is. Even the so-called mighty fall.

(11)  I have the most ridiculous skin. Those rolling their eyes please stop. The ones who know me keep telling me how clear my skin is, and so on. But my skin is super sensitive. Aloe Vera soap gives me a rash. Go figure! Nothing but brown pears soap works on my skin. There's a very specific list of products and make up that work and ensure I don't break out in ridiculous, angry red rashes all over. Did you know, that my clothes, if washed in strong detergent like Ariel, also give me rashes? Yeah. That. Try living in my skin for a day. If you don't run screaming for the hills after scratching yourself like a dog, change my name!

(12) There is a reason I am excessively private about certain things. Every single time I open up about something that's diffcult or that's good news, something goes very wrong. And I wonder if it was worth sharing at all. Right from sharing feelings about a boy I like, or sharing thoughts about some life event that's important to me. Every single time I've done it, it's ended badly. So, no, sometimes sharing is not caring.

(13) I have this perpetual thing going that everyone's talking about me and literally no one I know is being straight with me. That when I leave the room they're either at it about how strange I am, or that I'm a total misfit in the cool gang but they put up with me because they need entertainment. It's a rather weird headspace to be in. I don't know how I get through social interactions with this playing in my mind. I do have a feeling this thought process is what leads to me saying some thoroughly ridiculous nonsense that may or may not be entirely appropriate.

(14) I love shoes. ADORE THEM! But you know what's shitty? I have big feet. Size 41. In most stores that's the biggest size they stock. Which means that finding a cute pair takes an age and finding high heels (which I love even more than regular shoes) is the quest for the proverbial needle. The first time I found pretty shoes in my size that also had more than a 2-inch heel was in Singapore. IN SINGAPORE! Who would have thought that a country full of mostly-dainty-feet would stock high heels in big sizes?

(15) There's this funny thing that happens when I'm on time. Everything gets delayed. Example? My cousin-in-law's engagement. The family had to get ready and go halfway across Delhi for the event. I went to the parlour, got my hair done, got dressed and made up and so on and was ready to leave at the appointed hour of 4.30pm. Next thing I know, my husband was running late from work, the younger girls didn't like their hair and makeup and went back to get it redone. One of the vehicles broke down. We got stuck in possibly the most insane traffic jam known to man and ended up being 2.5hours late! Another time, my husband told me that there was to be an official lunch. I got ready. Army and all, so I was dressed to go. On time. My husband drops by 1.5hours later and tells me that the lunch was cancelled and they had a small sendoff for the concerned officer in office. I was waiting, in my sari, for 90 whole minutes! FML, I guess, huh?/

(16) The converse of the aforementioned weirdness is that when I am even a nanosecond late, I look like I got ready in a hurry and ran a cross country race! Not a good look. Trust me.

(17) Books are my life, my world, my source of inspiration, my joy, my sanity, my madness, my everything! I remember when I'd read Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, I couldn't pick up a single book for months. Forget reading anything else, I was so emotionally affected by it. I couldn't explain those feelings to you adequately enough.

(18) I love sunshine. Rains, the winter season, they're mightily depressing and mightily annoying too. I dislike wearing anything more  than a single layer of clothes. Coming as I do from a coastal, sunshine-y city, the concept of misty mornings, overcast days, chills-to-the-bone cold is something I don't have the physical or mental tolerance for. I hate it.

(19) I have a serious case of bitchy resting face. Other humans think I'm super arrogant and that I think I'm some important person who needs to be worshiped in order to descend from my high horse and interact with people. That's factually incorrect. I might look like I'm judging you, but I'm not. And calling me names when I'm not around just because I chose to sit quietly with aforementioned face rather than communicate with you says more about your ego than it does about my personality.

(20) I care more about the lyrics and the tune they're put to. Everything else is trivia for a music nut. I'm not a music nut. I am just affected by beautiful words and their depths of meaning than I am by the name of the composer. That being said, I do appreciate an individual's work in making music (Amit Trivedi, my man, I am looking at you!). For instance, these lines from "Manchala" a song in "Hasee toh Phasee" - meri hai ajeeb adatein/kuch khudgarz chahatein/ har jazbaat phir bhi masoom hai. I love all the songs from that movie's soundtrack, but these lines in particular spoke to me. There's lots of cases where these minor things affect me. In summary, music and lyrics are a big deal. And the music in Indian cinema provides me the perfect kind of succour on a good day, a bad day, a shitty day, a sad day, a generic day.

So, that's me folks.

I would like to pass this one to

Aditi over at Monologue, Janani over at Ramblings of a Pretty Woman and Niyo at moonshine borealis

Carry on then.



  1. Oh. My. God. What a list.
    So. A few of them I already knew about you, even though we haven't spent much time together physically. okay, that doesn't sound right but you know what I mean.
    Major surprise for me is 8. I am totally with you on 14. Never an find my size - I'm between 39 and 40 and there are other things too that I'd rather skip. It's weird.
    And 17 and 20 are me. Completely. Lyrics over melody. Words over scheme. I'm going to carry your tag-legacy forward, will blog tonight. :)

    Aditi's Monologue

    1. Aditi, no8 is not something I discuss often. Ancient history. But it did play a part in making me who I am...

  2. I am with you on 14 and 19. ...hell, people just look at me and think am arrogant. no communication. nada....but i am arrogance personified. I hate my man-feet too and added to that they are broad as well...shoe shopping is a nightmare! I have done this before....will put it up again!

    1. Janani, broad feet also. Forgot to mention that. Sigh.